Two interesting polls came out this week:
1) A Prudential poll showed that 53% of women are now primary breadwinners.
2) An SEI poll showed that in millionaire households where the woman was the breadwinner, the wife reported that her husband felt "stressed" by their financial roles.
Are wealthy women destroying their marriages by earning more than their husbands? A look behind the numbers reveals something very different. Take the Prudential study. Sure, it tells us that 53% of breadwinners are now women, but it turns out that's because 40% of the women who responded to the survey were single or divorced. Among the married couples, the number was more like 22%. Maybe numbers don't lie, but they don't always tell you the whole story, either. In the SEI study, they surveyed millionaire couples and asked the wives who out-earned their husbands how they think their husbands felt about being out-earned. No one asked the husbands how they actually felt about it, mind you, so no one really knows if they are bothered by it at all, or if they're perfectly happy with the arrangement, and their wives are just projecting.
Sometimes it's all about what exactly was the question being asked. "Do you think your husband is stressed?" is very different from "how would you describe your husband's feeling about your roles: a) thrilled, b) stressed, c) despondent". I'm just wondering how exactly the question was phrased. This study cites the sources of this alleged tension being "spending decisions, savings decisions and investment decisions", with the top sources of tension in all wealthy households being "kids and money, along with control and charitable giving". Perhaps stress over which charities to support isn't keeping anyone up at night in your household, but isn't it great to know that even if you aren't wealthy, you and your spouse are probably arguing about the same things as much richer couples?
An investment company generally doesn't survey people outside their target market, because people with no money to invest are not really of interest to them, but I have a feeling this data is not just applicable to the wealthy. If they asked a woman making $30k/yr how her husband felt about earning $20k/yr, and I think it's quite possible she would also answer that he felt "stressed". This idea of being stressed about earnings isn't really unique to millionaires, they just happen to have only asked millionaires. And altogether, women are very empathic. Don't women at all income levels tend to worry about their husband's stress? I'll bet that a lot of women who stay at home raising kids, and don't simultaneously produce any income at all probably also think their husbands feel "stressed" by being in the role of the sole breadwinner. I'm really wondering what useful information this study was intended to produce.
Where do these studies come from and why do they exist? Well, investment companies spend a lot of money hiring researchers to give them some new information which they can then use to make more money. So the Prudential poll result says "market more to women because they control more wealth. Except if they're married." And the SEI study results can be summed up as, "Millionaire women feel bad about making more than their husbands." And how can an investment company use this information to better market to those with guilt issues? Here are some possible new advertising ideas for them:
"Let us manage your investments so that you don't have to worry about your husband being "stressed" about that too".
Or "Since your husband earns less than you, you should let us manage your investments so your husband won't underachieve there too".
If you're feeling a little poor these days, try picking a fight with your wife about charitable giving. It will make you feel richer. Expect to win the argument if your wife makes more money than you, because she feels just awful about that and so she'll probably let you win to assuage her guilt. Or maybe ask her if wining an argument with you makes her feel: a) triumphant, b) superior or c) stressed, and reported this totally scientific data back to us here at this blog.
Oh, and also, keep in mind that these polls are often complete rubbish.
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