Wealth is relative. And I don't mean anything hokey like "You're rich if you have love", or "You're rich relative to the majority of the world's population, who live in squalor in countries whose names you can't pronounce". I think people decide whether they're rich enough by comparing themselves to their friends and neighbors, or more precisely, to what they think their neighbors are earning. And you're probably wrong about how much everyone else earns. Chances are your neighbors aren't as rich as you think.
Some people can't sleep at night because they worry about money, and for that problem, I recommend reading the U.S. Census bureau data, it might make you feel better about your financial position, and it might put you to sleep, but either way, you win!
Do you know the median household income in Beverly Hills? $83k. Surprising? The median U.S. household income is about $50k. Of course, that varies tremendously according to where you live. In Great Falls, VA, the median family income is over $367k. In Flint, Michigan, an income of $50k puts you in the top 30%, while in Nassau Co., NY, that $50k puts you in the bottom 27%. Now $100k may put you in the top 31% in Seattle, but in Arkansas, Missouri, Mississippi, Alabama and Tennessee, you are in the top 10%. In some parts of Michigan, a $178k salary gets you into the fabled 1%. Of course, the median home price in Flint is $51k, so you probably don't need that much money to live pretty well there. And unless you live in Flint, those aren't the neighbors to whom you're comparing yourself.
Going back to the example of Beverly Hills, let's look not just at the median household income, but the percentage breakdowns of income distribution, which means how many people are earning which amounts. Only 18.6% of the 34,000 residents of Beverly Hills, for example, earn over $200k/year, and granted, that's quite a few people, but that means that the other 81% of the population is NOT. The lady serving you coffee at Nate N' Al's isn't making $200k. Neither is the guy selling you a tie at Sacks. Those people may or may not be the ones to whom you compare your income, but there are a lot more of those people in BH than you might think.
Anecdotally, most of us can name someone who lives in a really fancy house, or drives a Bentley, but we happen to know that person is broke. Is that person the exception, or the rule? Can you judge your neighbor's wealth by outward appearances? Probably not. So if you're measuring your success against your neighbor, who may be fake-rich, can you find something else to measure your success against? How about something hokey, like happiness? Are you getting a good return on the energy invested in comparing and competing with the neighbors, and what are the opportunity costs? Where else could you be putting that energy? Are you just working really hard to create the illusion that you are wealthier than you are, so that your neighbors, who don't earn as much as you think they do, will think highly of you? The question is not whether you should drive a Bentley ---- I'm not here to judge! The question is: Are you happier driving a Bentley than you would be if you used that $250k for something else, and what are you sacrificing in order to create and maintain this image? Remember, sacrificing doesn't always mean going without. Even if you earn an exceptionally large salary that goes far beyond providing for the current and future needs of your family, there still are different choices you can make with the allocation of extra money, and only you can choose which action feels most consistent with your values.
In Malawi, by the way, the median household income is $596. A year. I'll bet your typical Malawian also compares his income to his neighbor's. It's just what we humans do. I wonder if his level of happiness is pretty much the same as yours. If he makes $597 this year, he'll have to choose what to do with that extra dollar. Maybe he could use it to buy a copy of the Malawian Census bureau data.
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